Now playing: OK Go - Here It Goes Again
Life has a way of dragging you along kicking and screaming, whether you want to go or not. That has kind of been my life for the last 3 months, being dragged along, all the while hoping for one small break to enjoy the happiness that has come to me. It’s very hard to describe this summer in words, busy, stressful, full, happy, annoying, all of which are true, but none are adequate. Roller coaster, now there’s a better word, but still not enough…We’ll try to find one…
I’ll start at the beginning and try to fit everything in.
Things have improved in my life, I can actually say I’m happy! I’m in love with the most amazing girl in the world, and I’m actually not terrified of losing her. I know that sounds weird for me, but I believe in happiness and love and that I can have it. They say that the word Love is used too much in our society, that it’s true meaning has been lost. People use it to describe everything they like, it’s used so many times a day by most people it doesn’t have meaning anymore. Love has almost replaced Goodbye in our language, and that’s sad. Love has never been that to me, even though I am guilty of using it way too much like most people. People love certain foods, their cars, TV shows, music, hell some people simply adore their curtains, it’s amazing how humans can drain the meaning from absolutely anything. To me, Love has always had a deeper meaning, it’s meant to describe a connection between 2 people, to describe how they feel, that they want to be together, share every part of themselves, share their hearts and be one with each other. It’s more than goodbye or a furniture description, it’s true and real and despite how often it’s used, it’s very rare in it’s truest form. I use it to describe a lot of things, I’m guilty, but when I tell my girlfriend I love her, it’s more than something I feel I’m supposed to say, it comes from my heart, from inside me and it’s true and pure and honest. I’m also guilty of using it at the end of every talk with her, but not for the purpose of just saying it as a goodbye. Imagine you talk to the one you love and then they leave, say on the drive they’re hurt, in a coma or even killed, what would you want to remember as the last words they heard from you? Personally, when I leave to go somewhere, I make sure that she knows how I feel and that I do love her, so she’ll always know. Love isn’t a replacement for goodbye, it’s a declaration saying my heart belongs to you, and I trust that it’s safe. More people need to realize that…
I have, three months of life to catch everyone up on…..sigh. Our relationship is no longer a secret to anyone, the whole world knows and, while it’s been a struggle sometimes, it feels incredible. It’s been difficult, I’ve never done anything like this before and it’s been a major learning experience making it work. It was hard getting used to sharing my life with someone, but it’s amazing and I want to continue to grow with her. I think we’re both getting huge lessons in romance, I’ve tried to make our evenings out as special as possible. It’s funny how we’re both hopeless romantics, but it makes it really cool because we get to express it together. Sappy enough for ya yet? lol My friend told me that I had never smiled as much in my life as I have the last few months, my heart is really happy, I smile so much now.
So what’s been going on? Everything from movies, to music, concerts, I’ve done a lot over the summer. Just went to see Muse and The Like on Thursday with Steph, that was so cool, we got to meet The Like, hang out with them for a while, Steph got the SET LIST from the show and Z, the lead singer even recorded the voice mail greeting on her phone! That was incredible, I’ve met bands before but they were awesome. Friday night, I decided to surprise her with a romantic evening, we went to a restaurant on “The Hill” called Charlie Zitto's, that was the fanciest, most romantic experience of my life. It was special and beautiful and an experience I’ll never forget. After that, we went to the Balloon Glow at Forest Park for the preparation for the St. Louis Balloon Race this weekend. Hot air balloons glowing and lighting up the park, I’ve never seen anything like it before. After sitting and watching for a while, we actually got to get in a balloon and they turned on the flame! That flame was HOT, but it was so cool being in there, the wind started blowing the balloon and the basket rocked back and forth, I thought we were gonna take off for a second, lol. That was a new experience. Here’s a pic of us in the balloon, I’m TRYING to stay calm, she…well…wasn’t, lol.
Here’s a pic of some of the balloon glow, it was so beautiful to sit and watch these giant balloons lighting up the sky, still in awe from seeing it.
Oh yeah, on the drive home, we got scared to death. Someone apparently bored, dropped a rock a little smaller than a brick off of an over pass onto the windshield of my car! Luckily it hit right where the windshield meets the roof, so it didn’t do A LOT of damage, but the windshield is cracked badly and the roof of the car has a scratch down it from where it slid across the top of the car. Figures the night of romance ends with a rock through the window…oh well. I’m not sure exactly what to say about the rest of the summer, work and school have been taking up pretty much my entire life. I try to fit my entire life into my Friday and Saturday off, and it’s not easy with everyone’s schedules being different, especially when my girlfriend works on my days off half the time. In some ways, that makes the time I spend with her and my friends that much more special because it doesn’t happen every day, I see everyone maybe twice a week, and my weekends are always fun and busy. I just, really am enjoying life right now, not sure what else to say. I feel like I’m leaving a lot of the summer out, my birthday party, all the things we’ve done with our friends, there’s so much to tell I could probably fill up ten pages with everything, but I won’t put you poor people through that. If you’ve made it this far I congratulate you, and say you must really care about me/us, to sit here and read this much, so thank you. I’m not going to promise to write more often, because every time I do I tend to disappear for weeks or months, so I’ll just leave you with “Life is good, love is incredible and the only way to live, is to LIVE” I just made that up, lol.
Til next time, be happy 
My last morning of work was Thursday, so I am officially free! Yay! Yeah I’m a weirdo, I know it and I embrace it, lol. *sigh* I’m done for now, just wanted to share my happiness with the world.
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